Weapons & Booze

Weapons and Booze you ask? Seriously?

Seriously.

What could I possibly learn from my child that has to do with weapons and booze??? And how do the words "weapons" and "booze" have any place in the same sentence as "child"?

What I DID learn is this. First, be careful about the words you use in front of your child. We all know the obvious four letter words to avoid, but it may even be best not to joke around with other words...i.e. "booze"! You never know how they may manifest themselves at a later date.

Second, be prepared for anything and everything to come out of your child's mouth...at anytime, in front of anyone. And be prepared for any and all assumptions that could come from that.

Third, accept the first two, roll with it and don't sweat it. I know I'm a good mom...most of the time. I can't help what assumptions other people make. But I can help my son with a loving and fun childhood. And in the end, it is his opinion about my parenting that matters most.

So how do weapons and booze fit in here? Read on!

Let's start with Weapons.

Last week we brought Noah to his first Psychologist appointment. His pediatrician suggested this to help work through the challenges that come with a child that has ADHD like poor self image and mitigating through the many emotions that follow. We begin the session with the doctor explaining what the next hour will look like, asking what brought us here and getting a brief medical history of Noah. Then he begins to ask Noah questions. One of the first questions he asks Noah is, "What kinds of things do you like to do at home Noah?"

"Umm...I just kinda like to walk around. Play with my Dog," Noah says. I found some humor in this because the kid doesn't walk anywhere. He generally runs, skips or jumps anywhere he goes!

Next the doctor asks, "Well when you aren't doing that Noah, what do you like to play with?"

My sweet little son responds, "Oh...well, my pump rocket, my weapons...."

Insert sounds effects of brakes squealing here! WHAT???????? Yes, weapons. That is what he comes up with? Not the million little Lego pieces we routinely step on or the several hundred Hot Wheels that find their way in every room in the house? No. He decides to tell the mind doctor that he likes to play with weapons! I so badly wanted to explain that the so called weapons were Nerf dart guns and plastic swords, but I decided that as the professional he would ask for clarifications if he was truly concerned.

Then came the Booze.

Fast forward to later that same week and Noah and I are heading home after work and school.

"Mommy, let's have a party tonight when we get home!"

"Okay Noah, but you have to do your homework first. What kind of party do you want to have?"

"I don't know, but we could draw pictures...you could drink some booze..."

Yeah...I could drink booze. I quickly explained to Noah that "booze" probably isn't the best way to say it. Perhaps he should consider saying that I could have a glass of wine instead. Being the inquisitive child he is he needed to know why he shouldn't say "booze". How do you explain to a six year old the assumptions people may make about his mother if he tells them she is gonna drink booze at a party...with him!? I tried to the best of my ability to help him understand. Not sure if he did, but I tried. What he did understand though was another reason not to use the word "booze".

"Mommy, I also shouldn't say 'booze' because it sounds like another 'B' word that you don't want me to say."

"What 'B' word is that Noah?"

"Boobs."